I've been waking up at 4 A.M. a lot lately. No, it's not for fun, and no, it's not my preferred hour of consciousness, but honestly, I don't mind it. I've been busy these days. That's a plus. The last few months took a good toll on me, and I'm still rebounding, but anyone who knows me, knows one thing; when I rebound, I rebound hard. It is highly unfortunate that I possess absolutely no natural talent at Basketball what so ever.
My life has seen many changes. Obviously, over the course of a lifetime, a lot is going to happen, but I'm talking in the last six months. Negative things begot positive things and I'd like to think I'm moving forward. Whenever I record this next album, I think it'll be pretty clear that I am. Or, at least, I'm able to take things in stride just a little bit more. I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned a lot about the ebb and flow of everyday life. I'd like to think I'm getting better at treating human beings like human beings. I'd also like to think I'm starting to give more credit to my troubled upbringing and early adulthood, instead of just ignoring it all together.
Some of those who know me know that I go into a weird state of hibernation during the winter months. I'd say this is 90 percent accurate, but couldn't be more accurate about this winter. I suffered a blow that rendered me useless, and in my opinion, practically dead. You see, I had this job that I really liked. I mean, I loved it. Early mornings were no problem. There was no such thing as a hangover that was too much to handle for this job. Not because of the work load, but because I enjoyed being there that much. I worked my ass off. About three months into my tenure there, news was received of a promotion. I was going to be making the best money I had ever made in my life. By a large margin. I was thrilled. The only thing running through my head when I heard the news was, "whatever you do, don't fuck this up. I will not fuck this up." The good news? I didn't. The bad news? The place shut down exactly one week after the initial good news. Also, I was only informed of the closing one day before it happened. Sure, there were rumors swirling around about the place closing down, but I held on to that one tiny morsel of hope that it wouldn't happen. There is no way this could happen. Punch. In. The. Gut. Followed. By. A. Very. Hard. Mike. Tyson. Style. Punch. To. The. Head.
Something else needs to be understood, assuming that you care. At this point, I was in a position where I was finally seeing past the dream of being a rock star. I had the dream of starting a family, living happily as a good friend and a good man. At that time, I would have said I was the luckiest man in the world. It's funny how something so menial can alter you so much, but rest assured, the world works in funny ways, and things can go down hill in a hurry. For me, things didn't wait, they hurried. They moved fast. I slipped into what I consider a three month coma, maybe four, who knows, but it seemed to last forever. Everyday it got worse. I knew I was alienating everyone around me. Somehow I was conscious of everything going on, but completely oblivious at the same time. Time stopped. I stopped. The last few blog posts I wrote came on the end of a whiskey binge so hard I don't even remember writing them. I blacked out for four months, unemployed, feeling what you emo kids would call "alone", but still pushing everything and everyone away. I do not recall much of anything from these past winter months, but they happened. I wish they never did, but they did. I wish I could change everything about them, but I can't.
The really odd thing, to me at least, is waking up. Eventually you have to. When I woke up, everything was different. Most of my friends were gone. Well, maybe not gone, but, you know, not around. My fault, not theirs. The thing that had previously had me more excited about anything than I had ever been, was gone. Yet, here I stand (sitting currently), awake and alive. The old saying is right. You do live, and you do learn. Sometimes you learn more than others. Sometimes you just have to stop being a dickhead. Sometimes, no matter how hard you've been hit, you have to immediately get up. Never, though, can you ever just lay down and die.
So, that puts me here. I now live with one of my closest friends (dyslexic folk might have read that as "closeted", not the case, but we do push the boundaries of a hetero living situation) and band mate Trevor. I've been writing a lot more. I'm working a whole lot more. I feel healthy again. I finally have regrets, but I am determined to learn from them. I have finally made some mistakes in my life that I will never repeat. That's saying a lot for me.
Sorry about the sappy post, but this thing is here to update y'all. New songs are coming out like whoa, as Black Rob would have said, or I guess would say, but we wouldn't know, because he's buried in prison.
Also, somehow the Bear Scout facebook page went from having 15 fans to 13. Come on folks, we want to become more popular, not less popular. Well, I guess at least I'm not in prison. Like Black Rob, um, like whoa. Yeah, that's a great way to look at the last four months, actually...
At least I'm not in prison.
Interested in some lyrics to some of the new songs? Here you go...
Excerpt 1:
We've all seen the death of a town - Well, the Devil showed up, and he worships us now - I guess everyone here runs at the exact same pace - It's just that no one can really run away from an angel, as bad as he is, he's been labeled - And named the place that all the sinners call home - Down there, everyone lives alone - But I thought the Devil would let me go - Because even the Devil would want to go home...
Excerpt 2:
You had a magical purse that was filled with money, and every dollar bill was something that you'd never give - Up and down, we climb the tallest ladders, and all fall down, just to break every bone in our bodies so we could feel them better - Clear our heads - Or make the bet of - Who would stay afloat - Or sink the most - And now I wish, I wish I won...
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Thawtz on $hit
Dear S, J, T and B,
I love you, but I am the outsider. I am the teenager. I am the ugliest of ducks. I am the one member of this outing who doesn't have an immediate fallback. It is safe to say that Exercise is the most legitimately functional musical endeavor within the sphere of we 5. Cold Bear Scout could rival its legitimacy if we actually put the (or any..) effort into it. And one could name off a slew of funny side projects we've plotted over the years (Auto-Harpoon, Bummer Camp, and more recently No Kurfew, to name a few). But, in the scheme of things, what is this, and what am I in regards to is? My answer: I'm a bassist in an illegitimate band, in an illegitimate time.
Even now, when some one asks whether or not I'm in a band, I don't have a straight answer. If we were to decide today to call this quits, BT & J have Exercise. Its who you are. It's half of the answer to "So, what have you been up to?"... And S, CBS is you, and you are CBS. If T & I got to talking and decided that we are done with this forever, CBS would go on. Because CBS is S's essence, and is the tree from which we 4 other herbivorous dinosaurs gather our CBS musical leaves. The lake would overflow again, and the output of a direction that hasn't changed over all the years I've known you, will remain unchanged.
But, beyond that, where do I fall in the big picture musically? I have no band. I have no team behind/beside me, waiting to hear what new bridge riff I wrote last night. And I'm virtually left with the 'solo musician' world that S & B have long since abandoned. And if you ask me, for good cause. As an avid music listener/show attendee, there are few things as uninteresting sounding as going to see a solo-guitar-wielding-songwriter. I know it's a rotten way to think, and musical prejudice can totally suck it, but it is one area I really really have to be sold on by the artist to give a rat's ass about. S & B, you have an array of songs that I seriously looove, and you know it. And I have nothing but respect for what you've done in regards to not only music, but in having the guts to go it alone FOR YEARS. I was not born with those insides. And knowing that fact has been a demon in my shadows since i made the decision to leave Berlin Whale in spring of '08 (2 year anniversary comin up, bros! Let's get wastied!!).
But, maybe I'm in a unique spot amongst you, my 4 bearded-ish brethren. I'm not under any pressure to write my 'follow up record'; I don't have any scene hype to live up to; the internal power struggles I was once a part of, are total memories; i have nothing to question, and the lack of that stress can only be described as genuine bliss. I really just have to show up, and hang out with my best friends. And maybe in reality, that's the ideal band for anyone.
Sincerely, I'm not high,
N
Oh, and i think we have a show on Thursday at Felix's.
I love you, but I am the outsider. I am the teenager. I am the ugliest of ducks. I am the one member of this outing who doesn't have an immediate fallback. It is safe to say that Exercise is the most legitimately functional musical endeavor within the sphere of we 5. Cold Bear Scout could rival its legitimacy if we actually put the (or any..) effort into it. And one could name off a slew of funny side projects we've plotted over the years (Auto-Harpoon, Bummer Camp, and more recently No Kurfew, to name a few). But, in the scheme of things, what is this, and what am I in regards to is? My answer: I'm a bassist in an illegitimate band, in an illegitimate time.
Even now, when some one asks whether or not I'm in a band, I don't have a straight answer. If we were to decide today to call this quits, BT & J have Exercise. Its who you are. It's half of the answer to "So, what have you been up to?"... And S, CBS is you, and you are CBS. If T & I got to talking and decided that we are done with this forever, CBS would go on. Because CBS is S's essence, and is the tree from which we 4 other herbivorous dinosaurs gather our CBS musical leaves. The lake would overflow again, and the output of a direction that hasn't changed over all the years I've known you, will remain unchanged.
But, beyond that, where do I fall in the big picture musically? I have no band. I have no team behind/beside me, waiting to hear what new bridge riff I wrote last night. And I'm virtually left with the 'solo musician' world that S & B have long since abandoned. And if you ask me, for good cause. As an avid music listener/show attendee, there are few things as uninteresting sounding as going to see a solo-guitar-wielding-songwriter. I know it's a rotten way to think, and musical prejudice can totally suck it, but it is one area I really really have to be sold on by the artist to give a rat's ass about. S & B, you have an array of songs that I seriously looove, and you know it. And I have nothing but respect for what you've done in regards to not only music, but in having the guts to go it alone FOR YEARS. I was not born with those insides. And knowing that fact has been a demon in my shadows since i made the decision to leave Berlin Whale in spring of '08 (2 year anniversary comin up, bros! Let's get wastied!!).
But, maybe I'm in a unique spot amongst you, my 4 bearded-ish brethren. I'm not under any pressure to write my 'follow up record'; I don't have any scene hype to live up to; the internal power struggles I was once a part of, are total memories; i have nothing to question, and the lack of that stress can only be described as genuine bliss. I really just have to show up, and hang out with my best friends. And maybe in reality, that's the ideal band for anyone.
Sincerely, I'm not high,
N
Oh, and i think we have a show on Thursday at Felix's.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
It's Traditional In My Country
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Another thing Myspace is good for is contacting people from the past. But man, sometimes, that is just really a bad idea.
NOTE: For the purposes of this blog, most of the messages I chose to show you were unprompted, they were sent to me without being the one to make the first contact. Also, Myspace has deleted all of my sent messages. It took me about 4 days to go through 105 pages of messages, I sifted through memories I never would have known I had. Luckily, in most of these old messages, I was a complete asshole. Which means that most of the embarrassing messages were from other people, not from me. I should probably re-adopt this strategy. Good job, self.
Sincerely,
Bo
I'm not sure how long it takes to start a tradition, but I'd like to attempt to do so right now. In response to Steve's last blog entry, I am currently going through my old Bo and the Locomotive Myspace messages, dating back to when I first signed up in April 2005. After this, I'll do EXERCISE's inbox, which contains messages from multiple bands over the years and many different members, should be a good one. Maybe Steve will feel inclined to do The Word Association's.
God damn, I used to get a lot of messages from people who genuinely seemed to like what I was doing. Unprovoked, unprompted messages of praise and real interest in my music and helping me out, wanting to buy my CD or play shows with me or just be friendly. What the hell happened? I guess it all changed when people realized that the using the internet in this way was slightly creepy and blindly contacting people you don't know is kind of obnoxious and often inappropriate. But this was the age of innocence, the days when Myspace was a pure, young virgin, and people saw a world of opportunity and success before them. Alas, that pure young virgin has grown into a deranged homeless man who converts naivete into idiocy, idiocy into bloodsucking, and bloodsucking into assholery, not by force, but out of obligation.
On with the messages..
From: Venus in Fur Coats
Subject: No Subject
4/3/2005 11:40 AM
To: Bo and The Locomotive (boandthelocomotive@myspace.com)
you're so good, so talented. you're music was almost hunting, i love it.
This is the first message I ever received, 2 days after I signed up. This is what I'm talking about, listen to that unabridged sincerity, my music was ALLLLLMMMOST "hunting," I totally see where she was coming from.
From: Geoff Koch
Subject: Dude, Bo
5/2/2005 4:52 PM
To: Bo and The Locomotive (boandthelocomotive@myspace.com)
Hey, I'm Geoff. I also live in the Lou and write some songs. Pink Floyd was the first thing I thought of listening to your first song. I've listened to the first 2 and it's enough for me to drop a line and say we should be pals and hopefully we'll do a show together someday. I'm jealous of your Red Sea gig! Geoff
Dude, Geoff. I'm sorry, but you were jealous of my Red Sea gig? what the fuck. Admittedly, back in the day, it seemed like a good thing, but we both know better now, don't we old pal?
From: Unkown
Subject: No Subject
6/30/2005 1:08 PM
To: Bo and The Locomotive (boandthelocomotive@myspace.com)
I just wanted to say hi. You car look just like my cat I used to have. I had to get rid of it because I was pregnant. I think my x dropped it off around the UMSL area. That makes me sad.
The new official weirdest message ever, I win this competition. what. the. fuck.
From: Amber
Subject: No Subject
7/28/2005 1:40 AM
To: Bo and The Locomotive (boandthelocomotive@myspace.com)
Just remeber one thing when you come to NC, or FL. My name. If I'm gonna help, I at least wanna meet your ass, so I demand backstage passes (I mean all this humourously). I really would like to meet you though, for real. K. Try to keep in touch - for real. Good luck.
- Amber
I don't know. If I remember just one thing when I come to Florida or North Carolina, hopefully it will be my swim suit, not your name.
From: Beirut
Subject: No Subject
8/9/2005 4:02 PM
To: Bo and The Locomotive (boandthelocomotive@myspace.com)
I'm glad you like the music first off. a compliment from a musician is always more worthwile. However, I won't be able to listen to your stuff for a while, seeing as my internet connection is still running on coal, and is incapable of even uploading some photos. So when I get the chance, I'll take a listen. And which part of St. Louis are you from? I think my entire extended family lives there, spread around the city...
- Zach
Apparently I discovered Beirut. THE Zach Condon of THE Beirut myspace messaged ME, one of my favorite bands ever, unknown at the time. Unfortunately, I can't find the message that I sent to him first, but this one was REALLY awesome to find. I should have stayed in touch with that guy.. Also, I have confirmation that his family does indeed live in St. Louis.
From: Gothic Blues Quartet
Subject: Hello Bo -- Show Offer
4/18/2005 9:38 PM
To: Bo and The Locomotive (boandthelocomotive@myspace.com)
I need an acoustic act for the upstairs venue of a 6-act, two stage show going on this coming Sunday at the Red Sea, on Delmar. The show starts at 7:30, is 16+ until 9 PM, 21+ admission only after 9, and the musicians will keep all the door money after 40$ for overhead is cleared. Let me know if you would like to play. Thank you! P.S. Neutral Milk Hotel fuckin' rocks.
Kurt
Seeing this message made my stomach drop. I had been on Myspace for approximately 3 weeks, I posted a few mediocre songs, and suddenly, someone wanted me to play them in public. This is the first show offer I ever received. I remember letting this message sit for about a week before I could get the balls to respond. I contemplated it daily. It was my roommate at the time that got me to do it (thanks asshole), and from there I fell ass backwards into a world I knew little about, which leads me to my next message:
From: Cold Bear Scout
Subject: SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!!
8/24/2005 1:50 AM
To: Bo and The Locomotive (boandthelocomotive@myspace.com)
Dude, I saw Kurt tonight, and he's giving us the downstairs for sundays show. Hell yeah. My AIM is disconnected now. And I dont have a phone. My only means of communication now with the outside world is this monster we call myspace. Amen for that, brotha, amen. PEACE!!
-steve
Note that the Kurt spoken of in this message is the same Kurt that offered me my first show. At some point, this Kurt fellow gave Steve and I a monthly gig at the Red Sea, on the last Sunday of every month. This was a big deal, and for a while, we were somehow successful at putting on these shows. We would bring in acts, good and bad, and play our songs to what seemed like a big crowd. Yet like all things in St. Louis, that quickly dissolved into nothing. But what is more interesting about this message, is that Steve has come full circle in the communications department. If you want to hang out later, don't call me, message me.
From: ITSHABOY
Subject: i take craps
10/1/2006 1:48 PM
To: Bo and The Locomotive (boandthelocomotive@myspace.com)
those craps will land in your lunches and dinners.
- swift kicks
The day that Matt Veatch joined Myspace.
From: Chris
Subject: do u remember me??
10/28/2006 2:58 AM
To: Bo and The Locomotive (boandthelocomotive@myspace.com)
yo man its chris gretchen's ex-boyfriend. i used to sell u sacks. lol. anyways i sent you a buddy invite so except it unless you hate me for some reason. just playin. how are you doin now a days? i didnt know you had a band, thats hella tight.
Another thing Myspace is good for is contacting people from the past. But man, sometimes, that is just really a bad idea.
NOTE: For the purposes of this blog, most of the messages I chose to show you were unprompted, they were sent to me without being the one to make the first contact. Also, Myspace has deleted all of my sent messages. It took me about 4 days to go through 105 pages of messages, I sifted through memories I never would have known I had. Luckily, in most of these old messages, I was a complete asshole. Which means that most of the embarrassing messages were from other people, not from me. I should probably re-adopt this strategy. Good job, self.
Sincerely,
Bo
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Myspace is Bigger Than Your Space and I've Been Receiving A Whole Lot Less Mail Lately.
Two things before I start. First off, I have a Zip-lock bag in my apartment which heeds this warning: Caution. Hot steam. Carefully open bag away from body. Let sit one minute before opening. The bag that says this currently contains Skittles. A whole bunch of Skittles. Needless to say, I took the warning to heart, let it sit for a minute after I pulled it out of the cabinet, and then opened it away from my body. Boy, were those people at Zip-lock right!
Secondly, join me in applauding Bo, Nate, Trevor and Justin for all of their help in maintaining this blog with me. Trevor and Justin have yet to even respond to the invite I sent them to be authors here, Bo, well, who knows what he does on a daily basis, and then there's Nate, who might have the only viable excuse for slacking because his only form of internet access is his robot phone which can make zombies appear on the street, see stars through physical Earth, but cannot run a word processor.
Time to get on point, or to the subject at least. I was clearing out inboxes in my various e-mail pages today, and found some really funny things from a long time ago, specifically on Myspace. Remember when Myspace was a big deal? Well, the amount of mail I receive now is minimal, but I used to get a whole bunch, so I've decided to dedicate this post to some of the more funny, heartwarming or weird messages I received, or some of the more embarrassing messages I sent in 2005, which for some odd reason was the only year where stuff was allowed to be entertaining and in your inbox at the same time. This could be long. Brace yourself.
WELL HOMIE...I GUESS I CAN HELP U OUT...U CAN BE ONE OF MIME (sic) HOMIES. FROM THE EAST COAST...ARE YOU COO WITH THAT..
-This was the first message I ever received, the date was May 3rd, 2005. I had never contacted this person, nor asked for his help. I'm pretty sure I didn't even send a friend request. Of course, I took his help, and proceeded to become huge on the East Coast. Yeah, I'm ''coo'' with that.
MAY 31st, 2005
Whats up, man, my name is Steven Colbert, I'm an artist from St.Louis and I just wanted to say I really like what your doing, it sounds fucking great. I generally peruse through artist on this sight and am seldomly (sic) impressed, but I am indeed impressed by you. If you get a chance, check my stuff at as well (myspace.com/stevencolbert). Keep up the good work!
-This will become a common theme, I came to find out today. I most likely was not impressed, or I was always impressed, either way, I lied to this man and am a horrible person because of it. Shameless promotion has it's place. It has Itsspace.
JUNE 3rd, 2005
A jam sounds fun, keep rockin till you fuckin drop, its the only way to do it. See ya in july, and best of luck with everything!
I will plug your show as much as possible if you do me a tiny favor and make mention of my june 26th show at the red sea while you're there. I mean, obviously I'll spread the word as much as possible, but its just a thought. Peace!
-Another common theme, again with the shameless self promotion. Yes, I was the one who sent these, and yes, I was the one who said ''keep rockin' till you fuckin' drop.'' Ouch. I didn't even know this guy, somehow set him up a show, and then didn't even show up to watch his band play. Did he do the shout out about the show like I asked? I don't know. What I do know is that he made a strong point of it to really try to get me to attend because, as quoted by him, ''we don't know a soul up there.''
JUNE 5th, 2005
i left my weed at (name removed) house and im pretty sure hes avoiding my calls so will u please please pleaseee try to get it back for me and u can smoke some...assuming u didnt already smoke it all...thanx :)
-This was left by a girl, as indicated by the use of an ''x'' instead of a ''k'' and also the smiley face at the end. I'm pretty sure the guy who lived at the house where she left it smoked it all.
JUNE 14th, 2005
Subject: I need 2 be serenaded...
Message: Baby, please play for me.......
-Weird. I think this was the first message in my Myspace history that I did not respond to.
JUNE 27th, 2005
what's shakin bacon? how was your set last night? I had an incredible night...the band that played after me, Rescue, ended up sleeping on my floor! I didn't get to sleep till past 2AM, and I am one tired dude. I'm really excited about finishing new songs and spredin' the love.
-This was an exchange from another guy to me. Maybe it's not as weird as I think it is, but I think it's weird for so many reasons.
JUNE 27th, 2005
his colon has droped to his testicals > crazy huh he should be ok though had surgery at 8am. hope all is good with you, how did it go last night anyway? I will keep checking ur Pro can't wait !
-I swear to God, I had never met this person in my life, or was aware of the situation about the man with the colon touching his balls. I'm pretty sure ''Pro'' means ''profile.'' I also have no idea what she couldn't wait for.
JUNE 23rd, 2005
sweet tunes dude. haha. no but really nice job.
-I was really thrown off when this girl said ''good job,'' so I'm really happy that she added the part about, ''just joking, but seriously, good work.''
JULY 5th, 2005
whoa steve totally looks like he is about to throw up. reminds me of the time we made a bunh of red jello shots and i drank a bunch because of course, it was sugar and there is always room for jello. someone told me later on that i had about twelve of them, either way i cleared off an entire plate then was so drunk i went ahead and put it back in the freezer. (i probably thought that more would appear) like maybe we had some vodka and jello dispenser in the freezer. 'nayways later on i realize that this whole drunk thing really just caught up to me, at once. the room did'nt really start to spin or anything i basically just hit the floor. then i got into the bathroom and literally all i had to do was just look at the toilet and it all just came back up. i made a point to drink a bunch of water so it was literally just red water coming out of my face. i looked like something out of "manos the hands of fate" steve walks in and notices the red shit coming out of my mouth. "holy shit dude are you throwing up blood." once again steven you have never ceased to amaze me with you're innocent brand of humor, classic. "no steven, that would be red jello. Ha ha...''
JULY 7th, 2005
I love your work on The Daily Show. You must be so tired of hearing that.
-Getting there. Definitely getting there.
JULY 10th, 2005
hey dude,
i put two new songs up today, you should check 'em out. i like them, im pretty sure, i cant tell yet. but what up dude. alright later
-Ah, yes. The first message I ever received from Bo Bulawsky. Notice how he can't use capitalization or punctuation at all? Maybe that's why he never updates this blog...
JULY 19th, 2005
STEVEN COLBERT?!?!?!?!?! I LOVE YOU!!!
-Fuck yeah, you do.
JULY 21st, 2005
Hello! Steven.
I like your music, you sing very well. It enchants to me to have contact with you, I´m a girl of Maracaibo, Venezuela. I have 22 years old. In my profile you can know of my although not everything but if something... pardons by my ingles.
-This one is one of my all time favorites, and don't worry, there is a follow up.
JULY 22nd, 2005
Subject: your in
Message: you got the add dude
-That was from comedian Robert Kelly, and it's made way more effective when you see his picture along with that message. Basically, it's this bald dude who looks really mean and he's pointing at you but has a super pissed off/reassured look on his face, and he is so serious about the fact that ''your in.'' It's a friend request! Cracks me up every time.
JULY 24th, 2005
Why should I add you to my friends list?
-Again, the profile picture is the selling point. The kid that I assume I tried to add looks like, and I'm not trying to be a dick, but he looks like the biggest dork of all time. And he was shooting me down.
JULY 24th, 2005
what the hell I'll add you.
-Oh yeah. Same kid as above, if you hadn't guessed it. Also, I didn't send him a reason why he should add me, I guess he just gave up on not adding me.
JULY 24th, 2005
LMFAO!!!!! (laughing my fucking ass off) Sweet sick fucking jehovaphat, i am such a girly internet guy.
-I claim full responsibility for this one. Sad thing is, I have no idea what it was in response to.
JULY 26th, 2005
Thanks to respond.
That is Venezuela truth is a full country of natural beauties, you must come so that to know and of course I clear will guide to you
-Part Two of ''Bad Ingles Girl.'' Sweet.
AUGUST 1st, 2006
This is the band I used to be in. We have left over merch, and I'm trying to sell it to pay for my psychologist appointments this month, so a 7-song packaged cd, shirt, and button is $9 with (shipping) included.
-Business sense. Pure business sense.
AUGUST 2nd, 2005
With your computer illiteracy, I am quite pleased/surprised to see you on here.
-My Brother to me. He goes to Harvard.
AUGUST 8th, 2005
I did not tell her specifically that you and I think she's gorgeous, but that there's "someone else I know" who thinks she's a good singer and nice looking. am I gay and/or in 6th grade?
-I remember when I was gay and in the sixth grade.
OCTOBER 4th, 2005
you are on myspace, but not aim. i made your top 8. does that mean you still have a crush on me? i think that you do. call me sometime.
-The second message I ever received from Bo Bulawsky.
That about sums up round one. Maybe one of these days I'll share some more, but it really tapers off in quality after that. I do believe that 2006 was the year for Myspace hacks and nobody sending randomly absurd e-mails, but I'll root through. Ciao.
Secondly, join me in applauding Bo, Nate, Trevor and Justin for all of their help in maintaining this blog with me. Trevor and Justin have yet to even respond to the invite I sent them to be authors here, Bo, well, who knows what he does on a daily basis, and then there's Nate, who might have the only viable excuse for slacking because his only form of internet access is his robot phone which can make zombies appear on the street, see stars through physical Earth, but cannot run a word processor.
Time to get on point, or to the subject at least. I was clearing out inboxes in my various e-mail pages today, and found some really funny things from a long time ago, specifically on Myspace. Remember when Myspace was a big deal? Well, the amount of mail I receive now is minimal, but I used to get a whole bunch, so I've decided to dedicate this post to some of the more funny, heartwarming or weird messages I received, or some of the more embarrassing messages I sent in 2005, which for some odd reason was the only year where stuff was allowed to be entertaining and in your inbox at the same time. This could be long. Brace yourself.
WELL HOMIE...I GUESS I CAN HELP U OUT...U CAN BE ONE OF MIME (sic) HOMIES. FROM THE EAST COAST...ARE YOU COO WITH THAT..
-This was the first message I ever received, the date was May 3rd, 2005. I had never contacted this person, nor asked for his help. I'm pretty sure I didn't even send a friend request. Of course, I took his help, and proceeded to become huge on the East Coast. Yeah, I'm ''coo'' with that.
MAY 31st, 2005
Whats up, man, my name is Steven Colbert, I'm an artist from St.Louis and I just wanted to say I really like what your doing, it sounds fucking great. I generally peruse through artist on this sight and am seldomly (sic) impressed, but I am indeed impressed by you. If you get a chance, check my stuff at as well (myspace.com/stevencolbert). Keep up the good work!
-This will become a common theme, I came to find out today. I most likely was not impressed, or I was always impressed, either way, I lied to this man and am a horrible person because of it. Shameless promotion has it's place. It has Itsspace.
JUNE 3rd, 2005
A jam sounds fun, keep rockin till you fuckin drop, its the only way to do it. See ya in july, and best of luck with everything!
I will plug your show as much as possible if you do me a tiny favor and make mention of my june 26th show at the red sea while you're there. I mean, obviously I'll spread the word as much as possible, but its just a thought. Peace!
-Another common theme, again with the shameless self promotion. Yes, I was the one who sent these, and yes, I was the one who said ''keep rockin' till you fuckin' drop.'' Ouch. I didn't even know this guy, somehow set him up a show, and then didn't even show up to watch his band play. Did he do the shout out about the show like I asked? I don't know. What I do know is that he made a strong point of it to really try to get me to attend because, as quoted by him, ''we don't know a soul up there.''
JUNE 5th, 2005
i left my weed at (name removed) house and im pretty sure hes avoiding my calls so will u please please pleaseee try to get it back for me and u can smoke some...assuming u didnt already smoke it all...thanx :)
-This was left by a girl, as indicated by the use of an ''x'' instead of a ''k'' and also the smiley face at the end. I'm pretty sure the guy who lived at the house where she left it smoked it all.
JUNE 14th, 2005
Subject: I need 2 be serenaded...
Message: Baby, please play for me.......
-Weird. I think this was the first message in my Myspace history that I did not respond to.
JUNE 27th, 2005
what's shakin bacon? how was your set last night? I had an incredible night...the band that played after me, Rescue, ended up sleeping on my floor! I didn't get to sleep till past 2AM, and I am one tired dude. I'm really excited about finishing new songs and spredin' the love.
-This was an exchange from another guy to me. Maybe it's not as weird as I think it is, but I think it's weird for so many reasons.
JUNE 27th, 2005
his colon has droped to his testicals > crazy huh he should be ok though had surgery at 8am. hope all is good with you, how did it go last night anyway? I will keep checking ur Pro can't wait !
-I swear to God, I had never met this person in my life, or was aware of the situation about the man with the colon touching his balls. I'm pretty sure ''Pro'' means ''profile.'' I also have no idea what she couldn't wait for.
JUNE 23rd, 2005
sweet tunes dude. haha. no but really nice job.
-I was really thrown off when this girl said ''good job,'' so I'm really happy that she added the part about, ''just joking, but seriously, good work.''
JULY 5th, 2005
whoa steve totally looks like he is about to throw up. reminds me of the time we made a bunh of red jello shots and i drank a bunch because of course, it was sugar and there is always room for jello. someone told me later on that i had about twelve of them, either way i cleared off an entire plate then was so drunk i went ahead and put it back in the freezer. (i probably thought that more would appear) like maybe we had some vodka and jello dispenser in the freezer. 'nayways later on i realize that this whole drunk thing really just caught up to me, at once. the room did'nt really start to spin or anything i basically just hit the floor. then i got into the bathroom and literally all i had to do was just look at the toilet and it all just came back up. i made a point to drink a bunch of water so it was literally just red water coming out of my face. i looked like something out of "manos the hands of fate" steve walks in and notices the red shit coming out of my mouth. "holy shit dude are you throwing up blood." once again steven you have never ceased to amaze me with you're innocent brand of humor, classic. "no steven, that would be red jello. Ha ha...''
JULY 7th, 2005
I love your work on The Daily Show. You must be so tired of hearing that.
-Getting there. Definitely getting there.
JULY 10th, 2005
hey dude,
i put two new songs up today, you should check 'em out. i like them, im pretty sure, i cant tell yet. but what up dude. alright later
-Ah, yes. The first message I ever received from Bo Bulawsky. Notice how he can't use capitalization or punctuation at all? Maybe that's why he never updates this blog...
JULY 19th, 2005
STEVEN COLBERT?!?!?!?!?! I LOVE YOU!!!
-Fuck yeah, you do.
JULY 21st, 2005
Hello! Steven.
I like your music, you sing very well. It enchants to me to have contact with you, I´m a girl of Maracaibo, Venezuela. I have 22 years old. In my profile you can know of my although not everything but if something... pardons by my ingles.
-This one is one of my all time favorites, and don't worry, there is a follow up.
JULY 22nd, 2005
Subject: your in
Message: you got the add dude
-That was from comedian Robert Kelly, and it's made way more effective when you see his picture along with that message. Basically, it's this bald dude who looks really mean and he's pointing at you but has a super pissed off/reassured look on his face, and he is so serious about the fact that ''your in.'' It's a friend request! Cracks me up every time.
JULY 24th, 2005
Why should I add you to my friends list?
-Again, the profile picture is the selling point. The kid that I assume I tried to add looks like, and I'm not trying to be a dick, but he looks like the biggest dork of all time. And he was shooting me down.
JULY 24th, 2005
what the hell I'll add you.
-Oh yeah. Same kid as above, if you hadn't guessed it. Also, I didn't send him a reason why he should add me, I guess he just gave up on not adding me.
JULY 24th, 2005
LMFAO!!!!! (laughing my fucking ass off) Sweet sick fucking jehovaphat, i am such a girly internet guy.
-I claim full responsibility for this one. Sad thing is, I have no idea what it was in response to.
JULY 26th, 2005
Thanks to respond.
That is Venezuela truth is a full country of natural beauties, you must come so that to know and of course I clear will guide to you
-Part Two of ''Bad Ingles Girl.'' Sweet.
AUGUST 1st, 2006
This is the band I used to be in. We have left over merch, and I'm trying to sell it to pay for my psychologist appointments this month, so a 7-song packaged cd, shirt, and button is $9 with (shipping) included.
-Business sense. Pure business sense.
AUGUST 2nd, 2005
With your computer illiteracy, I am quite pleased/surprised to see you on here.
-My Brother to me. He goes to Harvard.
AUGUST 8th, 2005
I did not tell her specifically that you and I think she's gorgeous, but that there's "someone else I know" who thinks she's a good singer and nice looking. am I gay and/or in 6th grade?
-I remember when I was gay and in the sixth grade.
OCTOBER 4th, 2005
you are on myspace, but not aim. i made your top 8. does that mean you still have a crush on me? i think that you do. call me sometime.
-The second message I ever received from Bo Bulawsky.
That about sums up round one. Maybe one of these days I'll share some more, but it really tapers off in quality after that. I do believe that 2006 was the year for Myspace hacks and nobody sending randomly absurd e-mails, but I'll root through. Ciao.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
I'm So Jealous of Myself Because I Just Got To Listen To Hootie and the Blowfish in the Car. What Did YOU Get For Christmas?
Every time I look at you, I go blind. In the morning, I wake up, try to feel alive, but I can't. Words from the Hootster himself, assuming Darius Rucker wrote those lyrics. My guess is that he was writing about Hootie and the Blowfish's fall from prominence in the music business. Sure, lots of albums go to number one, and the artists are never heard of ever again, but they went to more than just number one; they sold so many records. So, with that being said, my deduction is that when Darius Rucker looks at his 32 time, maybe more, even though that was an attempt at hyperbole, platinum record, he goes blind. He tries to wake up and feel alive, which he can't, most likely because his music career was, at the time of writing that song, all but dead. If anybody follows this blog, and knows their history of Hootie and the Blowfish like I do, then a very big chronological error could be pointed out there, but for the sake of reason, I'll stick to false statistics.
So what did you get for Christmas? Clearly, I was given the gift of arbitrary argument, but, as I have said before, 'tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la laaaaa, la la la laa. Right? The holidays are generally a time that I don't look forward to. I am honest about it, and I am fine with that. My familial perspective has been a little skewed since I was a little guy, and apparently, it only grows worse as time goes on. You see, I am very close with my mother, my step-father and my step-brother (insert oxford comma there if you so chose, but if you make a big deal of it, well, insert a supplementary insult as well*), but I am not very close, or very familiar with my family outside of that. This Christmas, though, I learned a little bit about family, which was a well needed lesson.
Being that of a lesser age, I feel ridiculous passing on ''wisdom'', but sometimes it is necessary. What I learned is that family is there for you. You can be the biggest jerk in the world, not that you should be, and they will still pull through for you. My father, whom I rarely keep in touch with, just this Christmas found the landmark of a year since we have last spoken. No, I'm not proud of this, and no, I don't like to flaunt ''daddy'' issues. With that being said, he still makes an effort. He sent me a lovely card with a picture of my little sister who I haven't seen since she was a very young child, barely coherent and mostly too energetic, playing a violin, damn near a teenager. My grandmother, Dale, cooked a wonderful meal, and though I have been thankless in every way that I could be, invited me into her home with Papa Stan, and engaged me in good conversation, nice drinks, and warm hospitality. One thing to understand about Papa Stan and Grandma Dale is that they welcomed mother and me when my Grandpa Bob had a heart attack during the Christmas season. I barely knew Mark, my step-father now, and Papa Stan's son, but they let my mother and I join their Christmas celebration because we had nowhere else to go. Papa Stan and Grandma Dale are not my biological grandparents, but Jesus Christ, they have always treated me as such. Stories can be told, and maybe they will be, but we'll save those for another day.
Speaking of Grandpa Bob, or, Gramps as we called him, he recently passed away. His latter years were rough. He battled cancer, lung issues, and anything in the name of health that could go wrong, did. I was his only grandson, so, needless to say, this was a weird holiday for me. Here's an off topic subject; remember when Tiger Woods was at the peak of his career and he was heading to the first tee as Jack Nicklaus was finishing the 18th? Well, Grandpa used to break out his knife to cut the tape for all of our presents when he was around, but this year we had a new edition opening her presents for the first time. Her name is Riley, and she is a beam of light. Riley is the product of my cousin Jenny, whom I spent the most part of my formative years with. My mother and her mother are very close. They are sisters. They raised three hellish children (maybe not so hellish, but more so problematic), and they did it with more love and care than you could imagine. While Jenny and I are only cousins, we are blood, brother and sister, raised and born together. Watching her daughter rip through packaging only to throw the product on other peoples laps was amazing. She smiles. She tickles. She dazzles.
So how could this Christmas be bad? There's no way. I was reminded of how lucky I am to have the people around me that I do. I was reminded that nothing is ever as bad as you think it is because other people have issues as well. We are human. We are one. We are a product of the product before us, and the product before that. My mother has always told me not to fear any situation, because, surprisingly enough, we are just people. Hearts can be broken, and friendships can be lost. Connections can be disconnected, but at the end of the day, I am me and you are you.
Maybe I'm a romanticist, but I feel like we have lost a bit of humanity as a whole. Selfishness has taken a front seat to worrying about others. Yes, this is sappy as hell, and yes, I am making this out like it's doomsday 2012. But it's not. I can still reconnect. I can still find it within me to care about the people I'm around. Life hasn't been easy, but life isn't supposed to be easy. We struggle because we are human. We struggle because we are infallible. In the end, though, we succeed because of those around us. We succeed because others care. We hurt. But because of these things, we see beauty, and passion. We see an alternative to the daunting world ahead of us.
So, in conclusion to the cheesiest, most red blooded blog I've ever posted, all I have to say is this; love the man or woman next to you, merry Christmas, and if you don't come to our show on January 1st, I'm going to punch you in the mouth.
*Any Vampire Weekend comments... get real.
So what did you get for Christmas? Clearly, I was given the gift of arbitrary argument, but, as I have said before, 'tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la laaaaa, la la la laa. Right? The holidays are generally a time that I don't look forward to. I am honest about it, and I am fine with that. My familial perspective has been a little skewed since I was a little guy, and apparently, it only grows worse as time goes on. You see, I am very close with my mother, my step-father and my step-brother (insert oxford comma there if you so chose, but if you make a big deal of it, well, insert a supplementary insult as well*), but I am not very close, or very familiar with my family outside of that. This Christmas, though, I learned a little bit about family, which was a well needed lesson.
Being that of a lesser age, I feel ridiculous passing on ''wisdom'', but sometimes it is necessary. What I learned is that family is there for you. You can be the biggest jerk in the world, not that you should be, and they will still pull through for you. My father, whom I rarely keep in touch with, just this Christmas found the landmark of a year since we have last spoken. No, I'm not proud of this, and no, I don't like to flaunt ''daddy'' issues. With that being said, he still makes an effort. He sent me a lovely card with a picture of my little sister who I haven't seen since she was a very young child, barely coherent and mostly too energetic, playing a violin, damn near a teenager. My grandmother, Dale, cooked a wonderful meal, and though I have been thankless in every way that I could be, invited me into her home with Papa Stan, and engaged me in good conversation, nice drinks, and warm hospitality. One thing to understand about Papa Stan and Grandma Dale is that they welcomed mother and me when my Grandpa Bob had a heart attack during the Christmas season. I barely knew Mark, my step-father now, and Papa Stan's son, but they let my mother and I join their Christmas celebration because we had nowhere else to go. Papa Stan and Grandma Dale are not my biological grandparents, but Jesus Christ, they have always treated me as such. Stories can be told, and maybe they will be, but we'll save those for another day.
Speaking of Grandpa Bob, or, Gramps as we called him, he recently passed away. His latter years were rough. He battled cancer, lung issues, and anything in the name of health that could go wrong, did. I was his only grandson, so, needless to say, this was a weird holiday for me. Here's an off topic subject; remember when Tiger Woods was at the peak of his career and he was heading to the first tee as Jack Nicklaus was finishing the 18th? Well, Grandpa used to break out his knife to cut the tape for all of our presents when he was around, but this year we had a new edition opening her presents for the first time. Her name is Riley, and she is a beam of light. Riley is the product of my cousin Jenny, whom I spent the most part of my formative years with. My mother and her mother are very close. They are sisters. They raised three hellish children (maybe not so hellish, but more so problematic), and they did it with more love and care than you could imagine. While Jenny and I are only cousins, we are blood, brother and sister, raised and born together. Watching her daughter rip through packaging only to throw the product on other peoples laps was amazing. She smiles. She tickles. She dazzles.
So how could this Christmas be bad? There's no way. I was reminded of how lucky I am to have the people around me that I do. I was reminded that nothing is ever as bad as you think it is because other people have issues as well. We are human. We are one. We are a product of the product before us, and the product before that. My mother has always told me not to fear any situation, because, surprisingly enough, we are just people. Hearts can be broken, and friendships can be lost. Connections can be disconnected, but at the end of the day, I am me and you are you.
Maybe I'm a romanticist, but I feel like we have lost a bit of humanity as a whole. Selfishness has taken a front seat to worrying about others. Yes, this is sappy as hell, and yes, I am making this out like it's doomsday 2012. But it's not. I can still reconnect. I can still find it within me to care about the people I'm around. Life hasn't been easy, but life isn't supposed to be easy. We struggle because we are human. We struggle because we are infallible. In the end, though, we succeed because of those around us. We succeed because others care. We hurt. But because of these things, we see beauty, and passion. We see an alternative to the daunting world ahead of us.
So, in conclusion to the cheesiest, most red blooded blog I've ever posted, all I have to say is this; love the man or woman next to you, merry Christmas, and if you don't come to our show on January 1st, I'm going to punch you in the mouth.
*Any Vampire Weekend comments... get real.
Monday, December 21, 2009
I Hope I Never Get Mystery Boxed...
'Tis the season to be jolly, eh? Just throwing that out there. I attempt to be as seasonal as possible. It is well known that no matter what the weather is like, I am going to be wearing a heavy coat in December. Even if it's 90 degrees. Swear to God. Except, I don't wear shorts in the summer time. I feel that exposing my legs to all the heat is counter productive in the whole ''chill out'' arena.
I went to the local record store the other day, and I found this awesome thing they have called a ''Mystery Box''. Capitalization needed, because it's that cool, maybe. The trick with the ''Mystery Box'' is that you cannot open it before you buy it, and you cannot return it as well. It consists of 30 CD's, and it cost eight dollars. I'm sure each box gives you a significant chance of failure or success, as I'm also sure that the employees don't strategically pack these ''Boxes of Mystery''. I came out decent, I feel. I have not heard of most bands in my ''Enigma Box'', but there are some records in there on labels I like a lot, and some of the CD's even have Myspace URLs so I can track how big/shitty the band really is.
The golden find: Freaky Friday Original Soundtrack, ver. 2. Lohan.
I don't think we're going to publicize this blog a bunch, so if you stumble on it, cool. We have two shows coming up, both we're excited about.
The first one is on the first day of 2010, at the Firebird with our buddies Huntergatherer and Wyoming Street. Justin, the lovable drummer, has a mild to severe Phish addiction, and will not be joining us that night, so we'll be a four piece, but have no fear, our performance dwindles under no circumstance, and adversity is our muse.
The second show is at Cicero's on the 14th of the first month of 2010 with another group of friends, HUMDRUM (I think they capitalize all the letters?) Justin will most likely be present for this show, but I can't say that 100% because I haven't checked the Phish concert schedule that far in advance.
Sweet tidings, or whatever they say this time of year.
I went to the local record store the other day, and I found this awesome thing they have called a ''Mystery Box''. Capitalization needed, because it's that cool, maybe. The trick with the ''Mystery Box'' is that you cannot open it before you buy it, and you cannot return it as well. It consists of 30 CD's, and it cost eight dollars. I'm sure each box gives you a significant chance of failure or success, as I'm also sure that the employees don't strategically pack these ''Boxes of Mystery''. I came out decent, I feel. I have not heard of most bands in my ''Enigma Box'', but there are some records in there on labels I like a lot, and some of the CD's even have Myspace URLs so I can track how big/shitty the band really is.
The golden find: Freaky Friday Original Soundtrack, ver. 2. Lohan.
I don't think we're going to publicize this blog a bunch, so if you stumble on it, cool. We have two shows coming up, both we're excited about.
The first one is on the first day of 2010, at the Firebird with our buddies Huntergatherer and Wyoming Street. Justin, the lovable drummer, has a mild to severe Phish addiction, and will not be joining us that night, so we'll be a four piece, but have no fear, our performance dwindles under no circumstance, and adversity is our muse.
The second show is at Cicero's on the 14th of the first month of 2010 with another group of friends, HUMDRUM (I think they capitalize all the letters?) Justin will most likely be present for this show, but I can't say that 100% because I haven't checked the Phish concert schedule that far in advance.
Sweet tidings, or whatever they say this time of year.
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